Food for Thought

July 4th means many things to many people–freedom, liberty, service…gluttony. See, besides celebrating the day that we as a nation achieved our independence, July 4th also marks the annual hot dog eating contest at Nathan’s in Coney Island, NYC (and will be televised on ESPN at noon). Competitive eating has arrived as something close to a legitimate sport in this great land of ours, and I’m conflicted about it. Of course, I know a thing or to about consuming great quantities of food—my wife’s lasagna, Graeter’s ice cream, Great Grandma’s Chocolate Cake from Allen Brothers, Haagen-Dazs ice cream, fried Mac and Cheese Balls from the Cheesecake Factory, Breyer’s cream…I could go on and on (and in my mind I am). But I’ve never dreamed of eating “competitively.” Besides wanting to hold on to my amateur status, I truly love food and want to savor and enjoy every morsel. So while I’d love to see if I could put down 9 pounds of ribs in 12 minutes or 5 pounds of tiramisu in 6 minutes, I’d rather eat all that and more…but take my time. Then there just the “gross” factor. I had the chance to interview Joey Chestnut on the TV show—he stands as the hotdog-eating world record holder and America’s best chance for reclaiming the coveted mustard yellow belt in the Nathan’s hot dog contest—Japan’s fearsome Kobayashi is the reigning champ. Joey was a great guy and I wish him luck, but I just don’t want to watch as he turns himself into a human garbage disposal by trying to inhale close to five dozen hotdogs faster than a bunch of other guys. Yes, I’d rather an American hold that storied title than someone else, but I just don’t want to see it happen with my own eyes. I’m haunted by flashbacks of my own eating binges—my psyche doesn’t have room for anyone else’s… So as you push away from the table this July 4th, don’t feel so bad about that third ear of corn or fourth slice of watermelon (and I’ll try not to think about the pints of Ben & Jerry’s that “mysteriously” disappeared from the freezer). We’re still in the minor league with those numbers, and I for one wouldn’t have it any other way. Happy Birthday America! -glenn beck

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